The world we live in today celebrate talent and intelligence and for good reasons. However, I want to submit to you another trait that recent research, like Angela Duckworth’s study on military cadets, has confirmed to be the “one to rule them all”. It matters more than talent or intelligence when it comes to persevering towards your goals when the going gets rough. It is mental toughness, our ability to keep pushing forward no matter the pain and discomfort. Let me make the case for why it’s such an important trait for us to think more about.

I set out to intentionally to build mental toughness about 7-8 years ago when I made the decision to become a project manager for an education tech startup. I was still very early in my career, and was tasked to build a whole project management team from the ground up, responsible for all of our product launches with just my manager at the time. Resources were limited, and I dealt with issues from clients and internal teams nonstop. I kept taking in feedback, working out the kinks and finding ways to improve the experiences of my clients and team members. Five years later, when I left the company, seeking for growth opportunity, my team of 5 people were handling over 100 product launches a year, with a portfolio of customers that spanned all of North America, Australia and Western Europe. This experience taught me that mental toughness was not just an abstract concept or that only the superheroes have it, but rather it was something that is tied to concrete action, that is repeated over a period of time.

In my experience, I found this quote from James Clear, one of my favorite authors, to be true:

“Mentally tough leaders are more consistent than their peers. They have a clear goal that they work towards each day. They don’t let short–term profits, negative feedback, or hectic schedules prevent them from continuing the march towards their vision. They make a habit of building up the people around them—not just once, but over and over and over again.”

The compelling narrative of mental toughness is that it's not an innate gift that only a few of us possess. It's a muscle we can all strengthen through consistent habits and small wins. Whether it's sticking to a workout routine, completing tasks on time, or facing our fears, these seemingly small actions build the resilience needed to conquer greater challenges.

I have another story to illustrate how consistency of practice builds mental toughness. A few years ago, I attempted to complete the Los Angeles marathon. Thirteen miles in and I had a severe cramp on my left hip, and shooting pain down my leg. I had prepared for this endeavor for over a year so I adjusted my form, and went into a “meditative state”, where I just focused solely on one step at a time. I fought the pain and decided that I needed to slow way the heck down to a walking pace.

To make matter worse, the course turned out to be quite unpopular since according to internet chatter, there were many participants like me who wanted to finish by the mighty Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica–instead the last 9 miles was out-and-back, and ended by an outdoor shopping center. Those last few miles subjected me to seeing other people finishing the race, and in my state at the time, that was nothing short of torture. I had miles to go before I can rest with at least two hills left that I could remember. I finished the marathon with a smile (barley), and I knew without a doubt that I have more toughness in me than I ever thought possible. Even when every single muscle in my body wanted to quit.

Also, this experience showed that mental toughness is about doing the things that we know we’re supposed to be doing, in my case…adjusting my speed, paying closer attention to my form, and sticking to the routine I had practiced over and over.

I urge you to take a moment to consider what mental toughness means to you. What is one specific action that you can do to intentionally hone this “muscle”? It may well be how you finish the race towards your wildest dreams.